Are you worthy?

YES!

When I started our RAK experience, it seemed like a good idea - something easy and fun to make a difference in the world. One thing that I didn't count on was my conflict about randomness. Random is random. There's not supposed to be much thought to randomness because that takes the randomness out of random. But my analytic mind won't shut down.

When we started this adventure I started with a stack of quarters, and a few gift cards to make it easier and more spontaneous. The first set of gift cards I gave away was pretty easy. I was in a generous mood and the opportunity presented itself (maybe stereo typically, but I didn't care). Since then, it's been harder. Nothing has clicked. I think part of it is my conflict over who "deserves" my random act of kindness. I feel really bad about this conflict, but I'm not sure how to break out of it.

As the boys and I were walking out of a store the other day a couple of rather "good feeling" fellas shouted a cheery "how you guys doin'" as they strolled into the store. At first I was a little annoyed - kinda looking down at them as n'er do wells. I finished loading up the groceries and got ready to head home. As I did so though, my conflicted head started to hurt. Why NOT do a RAK. I had prejudiced my randomness by my initial impressions. All the way home I thought about that missed opportunity. And since then. That was over a week ago.

Does a mom with three youngsters deserve kindness more than a group of rowdy teenagers? Or a business man? Certainly they each have their own reasons to be deserving - one maybe more needy. One may be more inclined to "pass it on." Another may be more likely to look at those older than them as a little more friendly. But random is random. I've got to find a way to be less analytic about this endeavor.

RAK

It's been a while since I've really enjoyed Christmastime. It's become so commercial and so chaotic and so stressful that I just haven't been able to get in the mood. With annoying Christmas music starting November 1st and no measurable snowfall in quite a while, it's just not happening for me.

One thing that I'm trying this year to get a little of the Christmas Spirit back is to share more of what I have with people less fortunate. I like giving. My job situation has changed a bit recently and though I still have a long way to go to feel financially secure, I wanted to do something a little different this year.

I was inspired by Robyn Bomar's birthday outing post. As she turned 38, she decided to perform 38 Random Acts of Kindness (RAK) - one for each year of her life. With her kids along to help, she spent the day dispensing goodwill to unsuspecting, but very surprised and grateful persons. These were not the acts of handing out $100 bills to everyone they saw, but rather more meaningful, in the moment, acts... Whether it be helping shoppers load their groceries into their cars, handing bottled water out the car window to joggers, sprinkling coins around a playground for the little tikes to find, paying for the person in line behind them at a store/restaurant or handing handwritten thank you notes (and donuts :-) ) to local law enforcement.

The kids and I have made several $100+ grocery shopping trips to donate to food banks. We also spent several hours working at Gleaners Community Food Bank sorting food for donations. One day this week (while I'm off work between holidays), the kids and I are going to do our own RAK day. We've started making a list of things to do. Just the planning is making me feel good.

One of the things that my daughter latched onto was a story where one party paid for the car behind them in a drive through line. And then, the pay-it-for..., er um, backward plan kicked in, and the recipient of the first gift, paid for the car behind them, and they paid for the car behind them. I'm not sure how long it went on, but the cynic would say that they were all just passing the original money backward. I would rather see it as all of those people continued a good deed and likely felt inspired and good about their own good deed. She really wants to do this one.

We started a little preparation for this (or something similar at least) by buying a few McD gift cards while we were there the other day. I stuck them in my pocket. As we were walking between stores today I noticed a young mother loading groceries into her van. I also noticed that she had three young children all probably less than 5 in the van already. I pulled a couple of gift cards out of my pocket and walked up to her (trying not to scare her - people are not used to people walking up to them in the parking lot). I asked her if they ever ate at McDonald's (with three young children I thought the odds were pretty good). She said "occasionally." I handed her the cards and suggested that maybe she could take the kids for a treat sometime. She thanked me and I replied with "Merry Christmas" and walked away.

I can't even describe the feeling that I felt as I walked away. It was a small thing, really, but a big gesture. I hope that I gave her a little smile and notice that there are still nice people around. I can't wait to spread more cheer and kindness this week.

Ms Bomar received so much feedback and support for her "birthday project" that she has setup The B'Day Project to inform and inspire others. Remember that birthdays are not the only days to spread goodwill. :-)

Japan Aid Projects: Posters, prints, shirts and more

There are many organizations out there seeking support for the people of Japan who have suffered through the effects of their recent earthquake and tsunami. There are many eye-catching items available at the This is Colossal site that reference the aid request and generally commemorate, if that's the right word for a disaster, the event. This is one of my favorites; very understated, but powerful.

BFE

If you search for BFE in Google or any acronym finder, you're likely to find that it means a "way out of the way place." -- rated PG-13 for language :-p

But for me, that was BK (before kids). Now, BFE means Boxtops For Education. General Mills started the program in 1996 in which they donate money to schools and other non-profits by having consumers return a special proof-of-purchase icon found on their products. Many other brands have joined the cause since then and the total donations so far top $200 million! The donations usually go toward the school's PTA or other school organizations that provide general funds for the students' education.

Here's the challenge... Print the list of participating BFE products. Tack it on the refrigerator or somewhere else visible. The next time you go to toss product packaging into the trash (or hopefully the recycling bin as most of these are on cardboard containers) take a look for the icon shown above. Clip it and put it in an envelope so it's safe (it's small and prone to loss if not secured). Every so often, send that envelope to a school that will then transform it into cash! If you know who I am, send it to me and I'll make sure that it gets to a good school, but if not, simply donate it to a local school in your area.

It doesn't cost you anything extra. You don't have to fill out any surveys. You don't have to give any of your personal information to who knows who. It doesn't take much time. Yeah, it may not be quite as rewarding as winning the state lottery (as if!) that claim to provide funds to the schools, but you're giving back in a real way.

Thanks!

The Phoenix

One week ago today, someone, or someones, lit fire to my daughter's elementary school in the middle of the night causing approximately $3 million worth of damage, completely destroying four classrooms and everything in them as well as causing smoke and water damage to all of the other classrooms, and forcing 350 students plus staff to relocate to another school for at least the rest of this school year. It was a very cowardly act of aggression. And it appears that it wasn't their first or last such act. The local police are now looking for a serial arsonist with at least 5 other school fires set in local schools the last 3 months.

While I am greatly saddened by the arsonist acts, and the sadness, grief, fear, anger, rage, nervousness, anxiety, frustration, hatred, worry, depression, and shock it has caused the students, teachers, staff, parents and community, that's not what I want to talk about. That would be too obvious and would dwell on the bad. Though the individual(s) is still on the loose, the students, staff, and community are moving on -- getting back to the business of teaching our children in the excellent fashion that our school district has been known for. They are not ignoring that the event(s) occurred, but choosing to not be held captive by the fear -- to rise above it.

When the company I work for was going through a massive growth spurt, stretching the internal resources way too thin trying to keep up with hundreds of new-hires, server capacity, etc, we used to comment that it was a good problem to have. Better to have to deal with how to manage too much business than how to manage not enough business. Since initial word of the fire broke last Monday, the community, students, families, and honestly, people around the world, have offered their help and resources. So many people flooded the school offering to help that the Principal and PTA president have had to ask people to stand down on their offers of assistance -- for now. You know how hard that must have been? To tell people "I'm sorry, we can't take your assistance right now." Their main focus and immediate concern was the student's safety, and getting something in place where they could continue their education.

There was SO much to do! In addition to the obvious requirements of time from the Police and Fire Departments (and the media), there was assessing and then finding a suitable location to continue schooling, evaluating the usability of the contents of the damaged school, dealing with the emotions of the staff affected, the logistics of bringing a school mothballed for almost 2 years back on-line and finding places for all of its guests for at least the next five months, preparing the school with comfort items to make the transition easier for the students, and I'm sure at least 500 items that we'll never even know about. All of this while dealing with the wide range of emotions running through their heads personally. I'm sure that their professionalism has held most of their emotions in check for now, but when the wave, hits, it will hit hard I'm sure.
They're not turning away the volunteers. They're not turning away the supplies being offered up by students, parents, local citizens, merchants, media and others. They're just deferring. As they get their hands around what's left to do, I'm sure that they will be GLAD to graciously accept the offers.

On Sunday afternoon, less than 7 days (only 156 hours) from the time the fire alarm went off, an uncountable group of persons transformed what was a devastating event in our community into a triumphant victory of teamwork, commitment and hard work as they opened the doors of the school now deemed the temporary home of those 350 students displaced by cowardice aggression, welcoming each of them with open arms. Despite the inherent confusion with all of those students and each of their parents crowding the school at once as if this was the first day of school, things looked incredible! The student's desks had their things in them (where possible). There were posters on the walls – many from other schools providing support and well wishes! There were pictures of past events all over the school. There were maps and signs and guides to make sure people knew where to go. There was A LOT of energy and excitement as students took to discovering new rooms and hallways. Some things may even seem like an "upgrade" – I remember my daughter commenting, "the bathrooms have three stalls in them!" This school also has air conditioning lacking in their last school. What was missing, mostly, was the fear. It had been supplanted by the positive energy and excitement all around.

There will be bumps in the road. Unplanned glitches will need to be addressed. Emotions will have to be discussed and overcome. The one thing that really came across though, almost from the start of the communications a week ago, was that everyone would be riding the same figurative bus down that road. It doesn't matter what school it stops at, it's the same group of people, the same community of caring teachers, staff, and parents that support these students. It's still the same school -- just in a different building... For now...

Help yourself, help others

As the bustling holiday season encroaches on our laziness that attempts to settle in as we cover ourselves with more and more covers to hide from teh cold, take a step back and remember what the season is all about -- giving. I hope that whatever your means, whatever your budget, you will take a few moments this year to provide some comfort to someone else in need. That comfort can come in the form of a monetary donation to a national charity, a local church, a toy or food collection organization, time with a shut-in or elderly person in need, or however else you can contribute. Make sure you know who you're donating to in order to make sure that the gift being given is getting to those in need and not those in want.

Another way to assist those in need, while helping yourself is via the Free Rice site. Basically, you work on increasing your vocabulary, while earning grains of rice for someone else. It's a fun little diversion when you need a little brain stimulation, and you get the glow of giving deep down in your heart at the same time!

Giving Back

I tell myself that if I won the Lotto, I'd give a lot of it away. I think that would be 1) a very generous thing to do, and 2) something that I'd actually LIKE to do. I like to see people happy. But, alas, I'm not at that point right now in my finances to dole out thousands of dollars. You don't have to give out large sums to make a difference though.

Last year my daughter was reading a book about whales and saw a whale adoption form at the back of the book and asked if she could adopt a whale. She's a pretty generous person for her age and I try to encourage that in all my kids. She has a particular place in her heart for animals - like most young girls. Anyway, I decided that we would donate the funds from our bottle returns to this whale adoption that she wanted to do. A couple of months later, we had enough to sponsor a whale from the Whale Museum. She was so excited! She decided to adopt Pooka, the youngest whale so that "it could have a better life" and she could watch it grow to an adult.

After my daughter's turn at charity, my son wanted in on the action. The three of us and my dad, dressed as Santa, had spent time collecting for the Salvation Army over the past Christmas holidays. he decided that's where his charity was going. We're almost there with his money - a few more pops to go...

Every little bit helps, especially when you instill a sense of giving in youngsters - it just continues to grow.