Safety Check

My car was in the shop -- again :-( -- yesterday and I got a ride home from a co-worker much earlier than usual. This meant that there was no car in the driveway to give away my presence to my daughter when she came home. My "mother-of-the-year" wife and I conspired to take advantage of that fact and surprise her with a little test.

When I got home I hid upstairs in my bedroom. When she came home I started walking around a bit, creaking the floor. She walked to the base of the bedroom stairs and called the cat's name. When the creaking stopped at her call, and no cat came running, she decided to head back downstairs. I creaked a bit more for emphasis and then waited.

After a few more moments, when I didn't hear anything I started to get concerned that all of our discussions may be paying off and she was downstairs calling 911. I started screaming as I went running down the stairs. I made it down about 5 steps before she yelled, "DA-AD!" She was downstairs in the kitchen on the phone with Mom.

After a bit more of a lecture about scaring her, she called Mom back and told her that it was me who was in the house (though she already knew).

I discussed with my daughter that the right thing to have done would have been to go immediately back outside before calling Mom ... not to trap herself in the kitchen with no escape. Lesson learned. Safely... I told her next time it wouldn't be me, so she should act accordingly.

When my wife took the kids shopping when they were young and had her friend with her, they talked about (and did?) have her friend sneak up behind one of the kids and take them down another aisle. They used that opportunity to discuss the need to stay with Mom as they were shopping and not lag behind her. Again, safely, but it got the message across.

Do your kids know what to do in cases like these? You don't need to go to such extremes as these, but please take a moment and make sure that they know what to do when scared, etc. Take a moment and talk about Stranger Danger and the tricks that they use (including looking for lost pets, etc to lure them closer to the car, asking for directions, etc). They are never too young to start the conversations, but remember to keep them age appropriate and update them and re-discuss them as they grow older. Make sure to include the Internet bad guys in your discussions as well nowadays. Teach them to never use their real name, never give out address or phone number, never talk to (chat, email, etc) anyone that they don't (and YOU don't) know.

Take a few moments today, tomorrow or at least this week and protect your kids.

See National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

imho

YOU SHOULD STOP TEXTING AND DRIVING

What you seek is what you find?

I remember when I got my first car. From the moment I drove it off the lot, it seemed like every other car that I passed on the street was the exact same model and color. I know that the ratio of cars like the one I had just bought did not suddenly increase geometrically. But it was my perception that was exactly what had happened. It was on the top of my mind, so that's what I saw.

A couple of months ago, our neighborhood started a neighborhood watch program. A pretty run down mall in the immediate area has been recently renovated (actually torn down and completely rebuilt), and the increased traffic, and someone's initial initiative helped kick start the program. We actually live in one of the safest cities in the country for our size, but as the economy continues to struggle we're starting to see the impact a little more as the crime level creeps north a bit.

Some law enforcement assistance, education, a few signs and we were official. The intention was to make sure that we were all looking out for each other. Increased awareness is good for everyone.

As just something interesting to do, I decided to create a map on Google Maps to keep track of any issues that came up. I plot the date and incident on the neighborhood grid. Nothing fancy, not even anything particularly useful, but something for me to do. Thankfully, we've not had many incidents, but I'm questioning whether we've even had any more than we used to. Now that we're watching for, and more importantly communicating about any incidents that do occur, I know that there is a level of "you see what you look for" going on. There is certainly more crime in our neighborhood than I knew about before, but I'm not sure that nay of it is due to the increased shopping traffic.

I think it's a great thing to learn about things that go on around you. I think it's a great thing to be aware of what's going on around you. Whether the neighborhood watch is preventing crime or not, I can't tell, but it does make you aware. And maybe any ne're-do-wells might go somewhere else if they see our signs. Not the solution, but one step at a time.

Take 5

This is perhaps the scariest video I've ever seen. It's not one of those trick videos where you're watching a peaceful scene and out of nowhere a mummy pops up full screen. This one is real. Not the mummy, but the fright, the emotion, the realism. Produced in Canada, it's a video about distracted driving, specifically driving under the influence of something. Please, please, please... If you have ANY doubt whatsoever that you are completely capable of driving a multi-ton bullet, whether you are under the influence of anything, or too tired, or too stressed, or for any other reason, don't get in the car! If you witness someone that you are not completely confident that they are competent to drive - take their keys! Don't let you or your loved ones, or even a complete stranger, be the subject of the next video.

Take five minutes and watch this video. I know it'll be hard, but so will losing someone if you can prevent it. Use this as a wakeup call and reminder.

More Password Security Help

As a follow up to the password post a while back, I came across an article in Fast Company magazine that provided some more helpful advice to keep your stuff safer. Titled Work Smart: A Single Trick for Remembering Countless Passwords, it talks about things like using song titles to help you come up with a memorable, but strong password.

It's not a game!

9-11 all over again

September 11, 2001 was a terrible day for America (and many other countries for that matter).  For many it's still really hard to remember.  For others, remembering is necessary to keep their loved ones alive, if only to them. 

Wikileaks has released 500,000 text messages sent on that day (from 3am on September 11, until 3AM the following day (US east coast time)).  Conspiracy theories asside, it is interesting and scary reading.  Interesting how the event was broadcast and communicated.  Interesting how the pages were intercepted.  Interesting how people reacted (corporate meetings called, etc).  Scary to relive the events.  Scary to have the human side of the events broought back to the front of your mind. 

Scary that this could still happen again.

Purse Snatcher Strap

I know, as does every parent, that my kids are very smart and will go far in life. In fact, I'm counting on it. Someone will have to pay for me in my old age.

I hadn't really thought about how early my oldest son had started showing his brilliance until the other day, though. Yes, he started reading early, walking early, talking early, etc, etc, etc, yada, yada, yada, but I didn't realize how inventive and smart he was at such an early age.

For quite a number of years, when my wife goes shopping and uses a cart, she takes her purse and actually buckles it into the "child seat" in the cart. I don't think it's because she got in the habit of strapping the kids in and just kept with the flow. She is a creature of habit, but I don't think she would carry it that far.

She told me the story awhile ago, but it didn't stick (or I didn't have a blog at the time to use to brag). Apparently, when my oldest son, then two years old, was out shopping with my wife and step-mom, he used to take the second seat belt and strap my wife's purse into the cart. He might have been amusing himself and his ability to be so in control, but when my wife went to remove her purse -- "WAIT! Why is my purse buckled into the cart! Hey, wait a minute. That would keep someone from walking by and taking my purse while I'm not paying close enough attention. Cool idea, son. Thanks." She locks her purse into the cart every time she goes shopping now.

OK, so maybe my wife deserves the credit. But my son certainly receives a co-author on the idea. And it sounds cooler to say my 2-year-old came up with the idea :-)

. . . - - - . . .

The Smithsonian reports:

"The International Radiotelegraphic Convention adopts three dots, three dashes and three dots - SOS in Morse code - as the standard wireless distress signal, on November 3rd, 1906. Chosen because it is easy to send and hard to misinterpret, the signal, which doesn't actually stand for anything - not even Save Our Ship - can't save the Titanic, which sends out SOSs in 1912. In 1999 a global satellite system replaces SOS on all large ships"

Are you safe?

Not everyone is as nice as you are. Some people are downright dangerous. We all deserve a chance, but it's best to be informed. There are a lot of crime maps available on the Internet to help you see what's going in in your neighborhood, or where you hang out, or where your kids go to school, or where you might be moving. GoogleMapsMania has *several* that integrate with Google's maps interface. Another one is available at CriminalSearches.

There's a certain inner debate when looking at sites like these. There's a little bit of voyeurism -- kinda like slowing down as you pass an accident on the side of the road. There's a little bit of shame -- you don't know all of the circumstances surrounding the crime, maybe they're reformed. A little bit of fear -- could they do it again, or worse. Then there is the technical awe that all of this information is available and so easy to navigate on this fad called the Internet.

I'll let you battle those things by yourself, but it's still a good idea to find out what's going on around you.

Be safe.

Ice, Ice, Baby

Here's another one from Day Tipper. Actually, I heard about this on the Internet, the news, from friends, from radio, and I'm sure the little kids on the corner selling lemonade last summer as well, but Day Tipper offers this reminder about adding ICE (In Case of Emergency) to your phone.

Simple and effective, and something that is apparently not an urban myth from the Internet - mark one for the good guys! And you know what? Even if someone thinks it is a myth, enough people know about it that it might work anyway...

Basically, you put an entry in your cell phone with the name "ICE" (maybe followed by the person's real name) and then put in their phone numbers as well. Now this ICEy person is not just anyone, it's someone that if you're injured or otherwise incapacitated, you'd want Emergency Services to contact. If they can find your cell phone, they'll look for ICE first and contact them to let them know you're injured, etc. It doesn't cost anything and it just might come in handy...

Men as Role Models

I'm a man. I'm a parent. I'm a dad. I've worked in a day care. I teach two-year olds at church. I play with my children and others. Before we had kids of our own, my wife and I took balloons to the local mall's play pit for other children to bounce around and play with.

I'd like to think of those things as helping to make me a role model for my own kids, and for other kids as well. To some, though, it makes me a potential predator.

I struggle with this one. I guess I fall into the same trap as many other people when I tend to feel safer if my children are talking to a female stranger than to a male stranger (always within eye sight in either case). Maybe it's because men look more ominous strictly by their physical characteristics. More rugged. More strong. More threatening. Versus the more laid back, primped, softer image portrayed by most women. I'm not a psychiatrist and I've not seen any studies, but it makes sense to me. Add to that the real statistics about who predators are, and the cards are stacked against those of us of the male persuasion.

Jeff Zaslow, from the Wall Street Journal, wrote a couple of articles related to this recently. The first one, Are Are We Teaching Our Kids To Be Fearful of Men? talks about what we're teaching our kids about males. The second one, Avoiding Kids: How Men Cope With Being Cast as Predators, talks about how us guys have to limit ourselves lest we be labeled as potential predators. This certainly does nothing to aid all of you women out there asking us to be more open and to express our feelings.

It's a fine line, I know -- on both sides of the sword. The only way for us guys to reverse the stigma is to show that we can be nurturing and loving with little ones and not be stalking our prey at the same time. That might not sit right with some. You know what though? I don't care. Those that I care about how they perceive me, will see the real me and not a predator.

On the other hand, I too need to deal with how I treat and teach my little ones to treat unknown men. The Stranger Danger posting I made just the other day was about a woman, not a man. But that was pure chance. Had it been a man that had given my child candy, would I have felt differently. If I'm to be honest with myself, reluctantly, I'd have to say, "Yes." I don't like that, but, "Yes. "

I teach my kids to look past someone's appearance, their speech impediments, their skin color, their clothing taste, etc. Look at their inside character, not their outside character I teach them. But looks can be deceiving both ways.

I guess I need to take a few lessons on character myself... for all of man-kind.

Stranger Danger

OK, I know that nobody ever said parenting was going to be easy. It's all about balance, love, nurturing, caring, and getting you back for what you put your own parents through.

We've tried very hard with our kids to make sure that they're nice, respectful, caring, friendly, intelligent, polite, loving, out-going, aware, confident individuals. We've been working for years on that part. Now, in one afternoon, I feel like we may have gone too far. My "out little abduction risk" comment a few posts ago has come way too close to home.

My daughter has a soft spot for animals and a general "all people are kind" attitude. Both of those are very admirable traits. Traits that we've tried to instill in her. But... While out on the playground at school the other day, she saw a little white poodle by the fence and went over to pet it and to play with it. The dog was on the other side of the fence that surrounds the school yard. While engaging this puppy the owner came over to talk to my daughter and her friends that had joined her. This particular woman had some kind of handicap that probably helped to allay any sense of fear my daughter might have had, though there's no evidence that she had any to begin with. (She's pretty good about ignoring people's handicaps all together).

When my daughter told my wife this story on Monday night, my wife reminded her about talking to strangers, and that she should should not have any further contact with the dog or the woman.

My daughter is a 4th grader, though. So... Tuesday, she went right back to the dog, and the woman, again. When we found out that she had disobeyed us (and her teacher who had backed us up), we got a little steamed. This woman, living by an elementary school should know better. It's a shame, but in this day and age, if we don't know you, and you're not part of the school, stay away from my children, well-meaning or not.

Angry at our daughter. Angry at the woman who should know better. Angry at the school for letting this happen (apparently the school monitor said it was OK as long as they stayed on this side of the fence, never mind the safety this precedence sets that might allow someone to lure them over to the woods where there is a break in the fence). Angry at myself (I'll only speak for me on this one) for not doing a good enough job of "training" my daughter to be careful.

We had a long talk with her, in appropriate terms, about the bad things that could happen -- about kidnapping, about being hurt or killed, about not being able to see her family again, about how sad we'd be if we couldn't give her kisses at night. We reiterated that we make rules to protect her and others, and that the rule to stay away from strangers was to protect her from those dangers. We wanted to scare her since nothing else seemed to be working. My wife told her about Elizabeth Smart, and how it wasn't just a man, but his wife who was in on the kidnapping -- that women can be bad people too.

Then we got the real shocker -- this woman had given the girls candy! The very trick called out in all of the "stranger danger" discussions we've had, she's seen on TV, and they've talked about in schools, etc. and my daughter TOOK IT! To our relief she chose not to eat it and I took it out of her backpack and threw it away.

The principal has been informed and my daughter said that she didn't see the dog or the woman at the fence today.

How sad is it that it's come to this? How do you raise kids that are friendly when they meet someone new -- they're gonna meet thousands of people in their life; you don't want them to be an outcast recluse -- and yet, wary enough to remain safe. How do you balance that "be friendly and polite" mandate with the "don't talk to strangers" mandate?! How?! Tell me!