Thursday, September 30, 2010

Lest there be any doubt...

I am NOT smarter than a 5th grader. Well, that might not be technically true. Maybe I should say 7th grader. No wait. She didn't get it either. I should say that I'm not smarter than some one on my wife's internet buddy list. That much would be true at least.


I called my wife on the way home from work and was confronted with a math problem that she was trying to help my daughter with. It had to do with solving the following equation for a:
a(2x+3) = 9x+12 -x. I got the right answer, but I couldn't show my work. Even the Wizard of the Internet didn't provide an exact answer. It may have provided the answer if we'd dug a little, but nothing came up in the one box :-)

I had the right idea, but couldn't complete my train of thought. I guess that's the first thing to go ... the mind? Maybe that's 'cuz once the mind goes it can't realize what else is already going as well.

Anyway, back to the ice cream story. No wait. Math! Yeah, that's it.

My wife used her own little "Wizard of the Internet" -- the collection of friends she met on-line when she was pregnant with our daughter that have stayed together on an on-line bulletin board. People from all over the world and, apparently with mad math skills. Within a few minutes she had the answer to our problem - factor out a 4 from the right side (after combining the x values). Once we did that, all became clear.

Maybe there is some value in the "social network." Speaking of which, has anyone see that movie - The Social Network? I missed the free screening that I saw on Film Metro. I'm not a Facebook user (I know... I know), but the movie has been getting pretty good reviews.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Are You Feelin' Lucky?

I feel lucky when I get a parking spot right at the entrance at work. I feel lucky when I get to be the last one through a yellow light. I feel lucky when there is still enough left in the checkbook each week. I've got NOTHING on these people. They are TRULY lucky...

Monday, September 27, 2010

You CAN take it with you...

I've been listening to NPR int the car recently. On the radio, but also on podcasts. My car allows me to listen to them via a USB stick, so a lot of the stories and programs that I miss because of my drive time are available via podcast, so I downloaded the most recent one (as an MP3 file) and took them with me.


I didn't know exactly which series would interest me so I just grabbed a bunch that seemed like they might be interesting - mostly science and technology. I heard about a couple of things that were really cool -- a vision test done with any smart phone (to go along with the really inexpensive glasses aimed at developing countries) and a digital stethoscope smart phone app that performs even better than their much pricier options.

I really like being able to listen to what I want to listen to when I want to listen. I've subscribed to the ones I like via iTunes at home, but we'll see how often I listen there. Time will tell.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

FINALLY!

This is EXACTLY the what I've been looking for! Anyone looking for a Christmas present for me? :-)

I've always wanted something like this. Maybe if I'd had this on today I would've captured the JERK that cut me off on the way home.

FREE Admission on 9/25 - You are invited to Smithsonian magazine's Museum Day

Get your free ticket now while you can! Locations available all over the US (and Even Puerto Rico if you're planning to travel!) Have Fun! Learn something! Experience it!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Now THAT's some MAD driving skills!

Monday, September 20, 2010

There's an app for that too?


Saturday, September 11, 2010

Hiroshima anniversary

I meant to publish this last month on the August 6th anniversary of the bombing of Hiroshima, but for some reason I got distracted and it never got out. It's an important post so I decided to publish it anyway. Better late than never.


I pray that neither we, nor our kids, nor their descendants beyond them ever see any more pictures of mushroom clouds or the devastation caused by atomic (or nuclear) explosions except in archives like those published by Tampa Bay.com to remind us of that sad day.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Speaking of School... Know anyone with a Doctorate?

OK, so you know someone with a doctorate, but do you know what that means? If they haven't' told you already, check out this site that explains exactly what a Doctorate is... You might consider yourself even more lucky.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Back to school humor for/from moms

For those of you sending your rugrats off to school today...

Misconception Number 1: Moms miss their kids when they go back to school.

Seriously. I’ve had enough of you by now. Every morning with the “what are we going to do today, Mom?” is finally over. I’ve had looked at your face twenty-four seven for the last 77 days. It’s time to go learn something.

No more asking me about the pool, when is the next snack or if you can stay up late and watch a movie. It’s over….You’re going back to Hogwarts and I get to have a life again.

There is a Christmas morning for parents and it’s called “back to school”.


Misconception Number 2: Moms like to go school shopping.

Are you freaking kidding me? Why do I pay taxes?…so I can rack up a 200 dollar bill

at Staples for crap that we have laying around my house in junk drawers. Why does it have to be new pencils? What’s wrong with the chewed up, broken strawberry shortcake pencils sitting in the bottom

of the toy box for the last 6 months? And how many subject books can you possibly need?

What happened to reading, writing and arithmetic. If they added a couple of things for parents to that list I wouldn’t mind so much….why not pencils, erasers and vodka…..or some Nyquil.


Misconception Number 3: Moms like back to school night.

Why must we do this every year? I got it already. You’re the teacher…I’m the parent. My kid is either going to be smart or dumb. If he gets a certain number or colored dot on his discipline chart, he can’t get a prize from the prize box.

Pretty simple stuff. Listen, I’m pretty old school. If he doesn’t listen to you…you can throw something at him. I don’t care.

But I got a lot of work to do at home and I’m paying a babysitter right now. Plus, I’m pretty sure you are going to assign some project on wigwams made by some Indian tribe I’ve never heard of, so I need to get home and start my research. So, I got it. We're all here for the betterment of our kids.

Blah blah blah.


Misconception Number 4: Moms like school paperwork.

How many trees are you planning on killing to tell me the same stuff I had to

pay a babysitter to listen to the other night? You know our name, where we live and our emergency phone numbers. He doesn’t have a nickname….call him “stinkbutt” for all I care.

We don’t have any “special circumstances” that you need to know about.

He lives in a home with two parents who may or may not like each other at any given time and they will fight.

If that qualifies as a reason he can’t get his homework done on time then he won’t be able to function as an adult and have a real job so you may want to “educate” him on that life lesson.


Misconception Number 5: Moms like covering books in that annoying sticky paper.

What exactly will you be doing with these books that I have to cover them in a plastic laminate? Do you often teach in the rain? Or while the children are drinking soda and eating soup?

Do you know how long that takes? Has any parent in the history of education been able to do it without any air bubbles in it?

From now on I’m covering it the old way…brown paper bags. That way I can cover the books and pack their lunches at that same time. Who says moms can’t multitask?

PS. Please tell my son if he can’t find his lunch to look in his science book.


Misconception Number 6: Moms like helping you with your homework.

What? I am scared out of my mind. I’m pretty sure that I forgot everything I learned in fifth grade by the time I was in sixth grade. I have no idea what you are talking about most days. I don’t really know my 12 times tables,

I read the cliff notes to all your summer reading and I don’t know how to conjugate anything.

But I do know that song “conjuction junction what’s your function” if that helps at all.

And please don’t even say the words “new math” to me. What the heck was wrong the old one?


Misconception Number 7: Moms can’t wait to pack your lunch every day until we die.

I hate doing laundry. Making dinner every night is the bane of my existence, so making your lunch every day for an entire year, in terms of “mom fun”, lies somewhere between brushing plaque off the dogs teeth

and scheduling my annual pap smear. Listen, as a child I hated what my mom packed me for lunch. But, like every kid before me, and every generation to come you will find a kid to trade with…I’m sure someone likes sardines.


Misconception Number 8: Moms love after school activities.

I don’t know who made up this idea of organized clubs and sports but they should be the ones in charge of carting your ass around. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against all after school programs. I just wish they would offer it

during hours that would work best for me so that dinner wasn’t at 8:30 at night followed by 4 hours of homework.

Why not do it on the weekends and call it “after-hours activities” so mommy and daddy could actually go out one night and pretend that we have a life of our own. Don’t worry about us though I’m sure that me and “what’s his name” will be married a very long time.


Misconception Number 9: Moms don’t mind taking you to school if you miss the bus.

Your bus comes at 7:10 am….which means that you should be standing by the door at 7:05 am. Not eating breakfast,chasing the dog around the house or in the bathroom, asking me to check your homework while I’m taking a shower.

Get it together! I don’t like running down the street in my jammies at 7:12 screaming “Please wait” or “If you stop I’ll show you my boobies.”



Misconception Number 10: Moms cry on your first day of school

We do cry but they are tears of joy. I have done my job. I have successfully kept a human child alive for at least 5 years without doing any major damage. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world!! Sure, doctors save lives and CEO’s run million dollar-businesses but…you teach a kid not to poop their pants and then you can say you’ve made the world a better place.”

Monday, September 6, 2010

Wedding Invitations

My brother got married last weekend (congrats guys!). The family and I went to Chicago to witness the nuptials and had a great time with the happy couple and other family. The invitation and details about the wedding were delivered (and updated) via a blog site that they set up. It was very unique and creative -- fitting for two that met at a science camp.


I came across another site recently that has some other examples of creative wedding invitations. My own wedding invitations were much more along the traditional lines, but each of them, traditional or creative contemporary, offer the couple a way to share their special day with those that they love. We're glad we were included in the Chicago festivities! :-)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Looking for something?

When I look for something on the Internet, I usually start with Google. Within a few seconds I can usually find anything I'm looking for. Sometimes that's not fast enough though. Now Google offers Real Time Search. You type in a search term, and it updates automatically for you as it finds new matches. They've had this feature on the main search page as a section of the results when they felt appropriate, but now you can make it the whole results page. No need to refresh the page. The new results just appear out of thin air!


This is not something to use for finding out the name of the bands that played at the original Woodstock, but is better suited for keeping an eye on public opinion about your company, a competitor, breaking news, etc.

Lots more useful features on the site too! Kinda cool.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Beloit College Mindset List for the Class of 2014

The wise people at Beloit College have once again released their Mindset list as students return to college this year. Designed to remind professors how old and out of touch they really are...no wait, Designed to help understand the "cultural touchstones that shape the lives of students entering college this fall," the list has been published since 1998.


A sample...

14. Doctor Kevorkian has never been licensed to practice medicine.

18. Fergie is a pop singer, not a princess.

36. Adhesive strips have always been available in varying skin tones.

51. Food has always been irradiated.