Are you worthy?

YES!

When I started our RAK experience, it seemed like a good idea - something easy and fun to make a difference in the world. One thing that I didn't count on was my conflict about randomness. Random is random. There's not supposed to be much thought to randomness because that takes the randomness out of random. But my analytic mind won't shut down.

When we started this adventure I started with a stack of quarters, and a few gift cards to make it easier and more spontaneous. The first set of gift cards I gave away was pretty easy. I was in a generous mood and the opportunity presented itself (maybe stereo typically, but I didn't care). Since then, it's been harder. Nothing has clicked. I think part of it is my conflict over who "deserves" my random act of kindness. I feel really bad about this conflict, but I'm not sure how to break out of it.

As the boys and I were walking out of a store the other day a couple of rather "good feeling" fellas shouted a cheery "how you guys doin'" as they strolled into the store. At first I was a little annoyed - kinda looking down at them as n'er do wells. I finished loading up the groceries and got ready to head home. As I did so though, my conflicted head started to hurt. Why NOT do a RAK. I had prejudiced my randomness by my initial impressions. All the way home I thought about that missed opportunity. And since then. That was over a week ago.

Does a mom with three youngsters deserve kindness more than a group of rowdy teenagers? Or a business man? Certainly they each have their own reasons to be deserving - one maybe more needy. One may be more inclined to "pass it on." Another may be more likely to look at those older than them as a little more friendly. But random is random. I've got to find a way to be less analytic about this endeavor.