Goin' dark for a few posts...

Maybe it started when I realized I was turning old-er. Maybe it started when Gary got sick. Maybe it happened when I had a little cardiac scare several months ago. Don't know, but my mortality has been kinda running through my head recently. People I know are dying -- my age people!

I've lost three of my grandparents already, but don't remember too much about their deaths (the last one passed away in 1997). I was younger, and two of them were far away so I didn't see them often. My last grandmother is hanging in there and doing well, all things considered. She turned 90 this past March.

A friend at work is dealing with the imminent death of her father who's been battling cancer.

Sometimes I feel like I'm being paranoid about every little thing… Waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop. I know that, for the most part, I have no control of when that shoe drops, and I need to just live my life. I know that, and yet, the little fears keep creeping back when I'm not looking.

I find it a little therapeutic to write these posts - to get my thoughts out there - for my sake. If I get them out of my head, sometimes they leave me alone for a while. So, bare with me for a quick detour through my fears, paranoia and other completely irrational, yet natural, thoughts.