I wanna do something that matters

There is a Lady Antebellum song called I Was Here that's used as part of an advertisement for one of the breast cancer fundraising walks around here. It's an encouragement to "do something that matters" like raising funds for breast cancer research. I've not taken part in any of the walks so far, but I wanna do something that matters too.

I wanna leave something behind. I want someone to remember me for what I've done. I have not set such lofty ambitions as curing cancer, curing the common cold, or creating world peace (though if someone could take care of those soon, I'd be grateful). Those are simply not in my skill set to achieve. I won't be able to build a faster computer. I won't be remembered in some encyclopedia, filed virtually alphabetically. I won't even be able to build a better mousetrap – have you seen how effective those things are already?!

My daily routine outside of the house involves a lot of data manipulation. But once it's manipulated, I'm done. I've found some interesting ways to manipulate the data, and some interesting insights because of those manipulations, but in the end it's very ephemeral. Once it's done, it's done. I may not be able to change the masses, but I think, I hope, that I'm changing those a little closer to home.

I've never been one to collect friends along the way. I have several people (non-family) that I care about, and only want good things to happen to, but none that I really hang out with. Perhaps that's part of my not liking crowds, or because of. I have several people at work that I battle between calling "co-workers" and "friends." The dictionary defines friend as:

• A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.


• A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.


• A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.


• One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement

I guess they'd be considered friends then. :-)

Those people, I think, I have an impact on. I offer my knowledge, assistance, and my ear. I think that they appreciate each of those, and thereby me. I appreciate that.

Family… There, I think, is where I can really do something that matters. It may seem like just a little thing to some. I truly think that some people just don't get it – the act, role, the responsibility of parenting. I see it every time I'm out in public, but I think that's where I can leave my mark which will enable them to leave their mark as well – far into the future.

There is no instruction manual for parenting. There is not even an agreement on how to parent that could be documented. It's all trial and error – and a lot of both. You craft your own operations manual as you go along. There are dog-eared pages when you find something that works, and a bit of highlighting here and there for emphasis. There are notes in the margin, reminding you that this or that doesn't work every time. The recipe is written in pinches, dashes and smidgens.

There is no science as to the amount of attention, sleep, craft paper, bandages, money, exercise, toys, or food that any one child needs. The only thing that really matters is that you wrap it all up in love. You take the life experiences you had, the parenting that was inflict…, er um, used to raise you -- thanks Mom and Dad :-) --, and a grain of updates from the doctors and the media (remember that no one agrees on what's right, and because they use statistics, there's always an equal argument against any stand they take), mix it all together and repackage it as your own parenting style. With a little luck, you'll raise children that are half-way well-adjusted, able to conquer, or at least deal with adversity, be productive members of society and start the cycle all over again with their children of their own.

I think that I'm doing a pretty good job with my kids. My wife has more time with them during the day, but in the end, we find a balance. She adjusts my parenting and I adjust hers. We have a similar style in most regards, so it's more tweaks than corrections. We're teaching our kids to be loving, creative, self-sufficient, inquisitive, caring, intelligent, productive, empathetic individuals. I hope that they appreciate that when they get older.

I am doing something that matters. I am doing something lasting. Sometimes I just need to remind myself of that as I struggle through the other daily challenges.