imho

YOU SHOULD STOP TEXTING AND DRIVING

Think Google Docs is wimpy cousin to Office?

Think again!

NY Snowfall Timelapse

Now THAT's a snow storm!

December 2010 Blizzard Timelapse from Michael Black on Vimeo.

RIP Childhood Mysticism

Sorry K. :-(

Today is under construction

Today is under construction.

Merry Christmas!

A little bit of wisdom

I try to impart a little wisdom on this blog. Sometimes I'm more successful than others. When I fail and you feel that you need a little more to get through the day, feel free to check out the Bits of Wisdom site.

Selling business

In a previous job, I participated in the sales process for a software product (and service). I was a technical representative and not the actual sales person, but I was witness to a number of "bargaining sessions." There are all kinds of people buying things from a variety of companies, but in general, we're all out to optimize the value that we get for our dollar. Some people do that by buying a less expensive version of a product (that sacrifices quality), or using coupons to lower the actual cost, thus increasing the value. Others try the ol' "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" routine... and then forget on Tuesday...

While the situations expressed in this video are obviously fictitious, I have to say that I have witnessed some version of each of them over the years. I can say that I find them funny now, since I'm not in that position anymore, but had I seen this several years ago, I'm sure that I would've thought a little differently.

Excellerate your skills

I consider myself pretty good when it comes to Excel (except for that new version with that darn ribbon bar - but that's just 'cuz I've not used it yet), but I'm always looking for new tricks and short cuts and new ways to do things. As part of that search for knowledge, I subscribe to a number of email lists (and rss feeds, and magazines and just about anything else I can get my hands on). One of those lists is the Excel Addict. Written by a Canadian, eh, Francis is great at showcasing knowledge that's relevant for the novice user and even the "Excel Addict."

Here's one that I learned from this week...


A Little-Known And Pretty Neat Data Entry Trick (XL2000-XL2010)

Excel is full of surprises! Once again, I have stumbled upon something that may have been there from 'Day 1' but I never recognized it...until now.

By default, when you enter a value in a cell and press Enter, the active cell moves down. If you want to enter data that goes across the rows, instead of pressing Enter each time, you can press Tab to move one cell to the right. That's pretty easy right? But when you get to the last column and need to get back to the first column in the next row, how do YOU do it? Do you reach for the mouse then point and click the cell in the first column? Or do you use the arrow keys to move to the cell?

I remember seeing this Excel feature in the past but I never understand how it worked until now. When you press Tab to move the active cell to the right and then press Enter on the last column, Excel remembers which column you started (tabbing) from and automatically jumps one row down and back to that column.

That makes for much easier data entry when you need to enter data across and then down...as long as you remember this trick. Tab, tab, tab, tab, tab, Enter, tab, tab, tab, tab, tab, Enter, etc...

From http://www.theexceladdict.com/

If you use Excel at all, it's worth the few seconds to subscribe to this list.

The older we get....

Found this one on the Internet...

ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

TWO

I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.

'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02.. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 PM and ask, "did I wake you?"

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

What will your dash be like?

212 degrees

Those darn Europeans...

...Always moving around.

10 centuries in 5 minutes from scott lewis on Vimeo.

"Time lapse" of Europe and the endless border changes on that continent over the past 1,000 years, showing the advances of invaders, the collapse of empires, and the rise of new nations.

From Flixxy

What's wrong with education?

This guy has some very valid points...



...but how to fix it?

Ideas?

You've never heard it told this way before

The story of Jonah from Corinth Baptist Church on Vimeo.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Genealogy Humor

Disappearing car door

Let me know if you see any of these around town! Pretty cool!

But what if I don't want any cookies?

Google's Chrome browser is a very efficient browser for surfing the web. It's safe, speedy, auto updating and does just about everything I need it to. Or it did...

With the latest update they removed the ability to determine white sites are able to leave cookies. Well, that's not entirely true, but they certainly made it a lot harder to control. When I surf, I generally dislike allowing cookies unless it is required for the functionality of a site that I trust. Until recently Chrome allowed me to set all sites to prompt me for permission to leave a cookie. I'd get the alert and depending on the site, either allow all for that site, or block all for that site. As I was surfing, when I encountered a new site, I'd click a YES or a NO and that was it. It was a small extra step, but something that I felt gave me a little extra control over privacy (or the illusion of).

Now, Google has changed the options to allow all cookies or block all cookies (or "local content" as they're calling it). They allow you to set exceptions for sites as you want, but you have to go into the options menu a couple of steps and add them manually. A bit of a nuisance. Actually, enough of a nuisance that I bet they're counting on people not bothering. That's a pitty. Buzz on the Internet is that people are talking about abandoning Chrome over this one feature. I'm not sure I'm to that point yet, but I must say that this is definitely the first negative thing I've got to say about Chrome.

Google is known for making things better for us, before we even think of it. In this case I think that they over stepped the duty.

I'm hoping that Google will listen to posts like this one and all the others in the help forums, etc and give us back some control.

Women...

... are like stars -- there are millions out there, but only one can make your dreams come true.
--- Anon

I'm glad I caught my star!

Ain't that the truth...

Duct tape is like The Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
--- Katie Hanson

Do you believe?

Do you believe in the possible of the impossible?
--- Anon

Remember...

To the world you're just one person, but to one person you could mean the world.
--- Anon

Do what you're told!

Apparently, most of us will just do what we're told without questioning. For little kids, in their parent's protection, that's the best advice. In general, parents know better and act on their kid's behalf to keep them safe and train them in cultural norms. As this video shows though, most of us never break out of that paradigm and continue to blindly follow though there is no obvious reason. We are a nation of sheep, not shepherds. We have become a nation of followers and not of leaders. We live in a [psuedo-]democracy, and yet all of that is erased if we let someone else tell us how to vote. We need to break out of the yes-men style of business, and education, and finance, and invention and ask ourselves, and those that are telling us what to do..."Why?" If the answer given does not make sense, do not follow. Find a new path and lead.

People Watching Plus from Rune Madsen on Vimeo.

OK, now that I've said that... How do we do it? We have spent decades if not millenia getting our nation to where it is today. How do we turn it around? How do we change the culture embedded in our companies, our communities, our schools to let the norm be game changing and not the exception? How do we foster the atmosphere where people aren't afraid to raise their hand and ask questions, or to suggest something different, if not better, without being knocked back down into the same rut that the rest of us are in? How do we encourage people to break from the pack, find new ground and then settle and secure it? We've trained, or allowed ourselves to become so risk adverse that this great nation of ours is falling behind in every measurement imaginable - patents, wealth, health, freedom, and all of the rest.

I don't have the answer. I'm stuck behind the same financial obligations that most of the rest of you are. If I had no debt, no need to spend my time making money to pay off that debt, more time to think and act outside of the box, I'd like to think that I could be more productive to society. Maybe not, but it's a vicious circle. How I tall until I'm out from under financial control of the norm?

Got some ideas on how to fix this mess? Let me know.

Thank you!

What am I missing?

Nothing apparently.

It's been a really busy time around the house recently. One consequence is that I've not spent any time in front of the TV. Not that that's a bad thing, but I admit that it's a little different.

I used to love watching TV. I'd find TV shows that I thought sounded interesting, set them up to record on the DVR, and then when the kids and wife went up to bed, I'd sit back in the recliner and play catch up -- or try to anyway. Things got a little out of hand and I started falling behind. So I picked the show that I liked least and removed the DVR series recording.

Then I fell further behind, so I removed another. Then another. Then I finally just stopped removing them with the intention that when I did feel like watching something, there should be something there to watch.

But I've never gotten back to watch anything. Things some up -- homework to check or help with (though I love that my wife does most of this before I get home), chores to do, this and that... Time just slips away.

As the kids are back in school, there is no "screen time" (TV, or computer) during the week to avoid the temptation for them to rush through homework too quickly, so that removes the lead in to me watching it more when they go to bed.

A couple of months ago I was really geeked about a couple of shows, but I can't even tell you if they're still on or have already been cancelled. There is not a single show that I watch regularly right now. I still have the TV on in the background upstairs at night, but for the most part I don't pay any attention to it. I watch a few family shows with the kids on the weekend when time allows, but that's it. And I am surprisingly OK with that. I thought there would be some withdrawal or something.

We still record the stuff for the kids (a few cartoons and Disney shows and science shows that they like) and my wife (Grey's, etc), but I've pretty much given up...

And I'm OK with that.

Front Line

I had occasion to call my mortgage company today. I've dealt with a lot of customer service reps over the years, but something really struck me today.

I understand that in the low-paying, cost-center world of customer support, businesses are looking to save every penny that they can. Part of that may mean sending the call center overseas. Whether that's what I experienced today or not, one thing that companies need to remember is that their customers need to be able to understand the people on the other end of the line. The person I spoke to today had such a heavy Spanish (?) accent that it took two and three times of them repeating a phrase before I understood what he was saying.

I work with people in the technology field who speak many, many different languages with varying degrees of heaviness in their accent. It's part of the world I live in. But that's me -- I suspect the same is not true for the majority of people. That being said, I still had a hard time understanding this guy. I'm (pretty) sure that he was technically capable of his job, but if I, as the customer, can't understand him, that pretty much invalidates the service he's capable of performing.

I have nothing against people that don't speak fluent English - I actually find some languages really cool to listen to, Spanish being one of them (and Mia Rose's Portuguese as well), but don't put them on the front line of customer contact if they are not able to communicate with the customers.

Just my rant for the day I guess... Tomorrow - The drivers that cut me off by turning left in the "outside" lane and then cutting me off to get into to the "inside" lane to get on the expressway...

O Rings

I love it when my kids help with the grocery list... When my wife consolidated the lists from the fridge, she copied it assuming that I had written it (is my handwriting THAT close to a seven-year-old?!). When I questioned her on it, we both had a laugh when I told her he meant "oranges." :-)

Apple Fanboy out another 800 clams!

Some people...

…are so clueless they don't even know that they're clueless.

Boo!

My wife helps out at the school by recording kids' names and giving them "Hall Passes" when they come in late in the morning. There is one kindergartener who is notoriously late. When she asks his name, he replies "Gregory." "Last name?" "Boo." Uh, ok. So she writes Gregory Boo on the sign in sheet. Then she writes Gregory Boo on his nametag / hall pass. Then she moves on to the next child in line.

This goes on for a couple of weeks. Then today, as they are recording the name in the online attendance program (by teacher), they see that his name is Gregory, but Boo is not his last name. Apparently his mom, likely, calls him "Gregory Boo" as a nickname. He thought Boo was his last name :-)

My wife's first cat used to be called Pierre No! All of our cats must be related. They all have the same last name... And it's not OUR last name :-)

The Mp3 Experiment - Seven

Have any of you ever participated in anything like this? I think it would be fun. My daughter tried to pull something together a flash mob dance on the last day of school last year (she even got permission from the principal), but alas, it was not to be. She couldn't get everyone together to practice :-(

Now what?

Copyright 2010

Unless someone else has thought of this, I hereby copyright this idea... :-)

There are many sites on the web that allow you to create "Ransom Note" style text where each letter you use is presented in a different font, or substituted with a different picture representing that alphabetic character. My idea expands on that a little (but significant) bit.

My idea is to replace whole words (where possible) instead of the individual characters, but by using images of signs from each specific locality. For instance, if someone was to type "Come see our Saturday Performance at 12345 Mainstreet, 10 o'clock am" and tag the location as Detroit-area, each of the words would be replaced with the image of that word from a picture taken somewhere around Detroit. The images would be crowd-sourced like the Human Clock site after being seeded with some Creative Commons images.

• Obviously not all words would be available, especially at the start of the project, so when that happens, the word would be replaced by random letters for each character, though still from local pictures where possible.
• Logos, recognizable signs, etc would all be fodder for the collection.
• The images should be able to be submitted by anyone, but would need to be moderated.
• Submitter should specify which word/letter they are submitting.
• Submitter should be able to cropthe image upon upload so that it isolates the intended area.
• Submitted images should be commonly sized.
• File formats should be restricted.
• Multiples for each would would be allowed and encouraged to provide more randomness.
• A needs list could be presented based on the most common words.
• A needs list could include the ones that are being used that we need to replace with characters instead.
• Users of the site would be allowed to specify a metro area or allow images from the global catalog of images.
• Once presented with a refined image, the user would be able to refresh for a new set of images if desired.
• The final image should be presented to the user as a single image for download.

Any code hackers out there that want to take a shot at this?

What you seek is what you find?

I remember when I got my first car. From the moment I drove it off the lot, it seemed like every other car that I passed on the street was the exact same model and color. I know that the ratio of cars like the one I had just bought did not suddenly increase geometrically. But it was my perception that was exactly what had happened. It was on the top of my mind, so that's what I saw.

A couple of months ago, our neighborhood started a neighborhood watch program. A pretty run down mall in the immediate area has been recently renovated (actually torn down and completely rebuilt), and the increased traffic, and someone's initial initiative helped kick start the program. We actually live in one of the safest cities in the country for our size, but as the economy continues to struggle we're starting to see the impact a little more as the crime level creeps north a bit.

Some law enforcement assistance, education, a few signs and we were official. The intention was to make sure that we were all looking out for each other. Increased awareness is good for everyone.

As just something interesting to do, I decided to create a map on Google Maps to keep track of any issues that came up. I plot the date and incident on the neighborhood grid. Nothing fancy, not even anything particularly useful, but something for me to do. Thankfully, we've not had many incidents, but I'm questioning whether we've even had any more than we used to. Now that we're watching for, and more importantly communicating about any incidents that do occur, I know that there is a level of "you see what you look for" going on. There is certainly more crime in our neighborhood than I knew about before, but I'm not sure that nay of it is due to the increased shopping traffic.

I think it's a great thing to learn about things that go on around you. I think it's a great thing to be aware of what's going on around you. Whether the neighborhood watch is preventing crime or not, I can't tell, but it does make you aware. And maybe any ne're-do-wells might go somewhere else if they see our signs. Not the solution, but one step at a time.

Olivia Newton-John redone...

I remember listening to "Let's Get Physical" when I was much younger, but everything old is new again nowadays. With the inclusion of Let's Get Physical in a recent Glee episode, the song has found a whole new group of fans. Included in that group are my two sons. Well, kinda. They like the tune, but decided it needed to be updated a bit. On their own, they decided to rewrite [part of] it as Let's Get Digital. The chorus has been completed, but they still need to finish each of the verses. When they sing the "digital" part of the chorus, they vibrate their throat with their fingers to give a warbling effect; it adds so much to the song :-)

When they finish the whole thing I'll try to get them to record it and I'll post it here.

Whew!

OK, I just need to vent a little. I was working last night on a printing solution for my kid's computer (trying to get the DropBox hack to work) . I was working too late, I'm sure. SOMEHOW, in my midnight wisdom, I decided that I needed to "unshare" the Shared folder. I was thinking that I was cleaning up my previous attempt to create a home network on Windows XP, but my Home edition doesn't even support it... blah, blah, blah... Anyway, when my wife came down this morning we discovered that, go figure, we couldn't get to the Shared folders -- WHERE WE STORE ALL THE PICTURES AND MUSIC WE WANT TO SHARE ACROSS ALL USERS OF THE COMPUTER! Wonder how that happened ...

ACCESS DENIED! Even as the administrator! Uh Oh... I feebly tried a few things before I had to run off to work, but no luck. On top of that, our ISP was kaput this morning for about an hour -- which I thought, of course, was also caused by my tinkering... I felt really bad -- sorry Honey :-(

An exhaustive search this afternoon between meetings and tasks yielded absolutely nothing valuable. I had some things to try, but wasn't confident in them. I was starting to sweat. I had backed up the pictures and music fairly recently, but an automated backup is still on my to do list.

I got home this evening and went to work on trying to work my way out of a jam. Nothing was working... In the end, it was a post from 2005, about Adobe, that led me to the solution I needed. A solution that there was no way in HECK I would've come up with on my own. But it worked and guess what I'm doing right now... BACKING UP!

How long has it been since you've backed up your important stuff? Pictures? Documents? Music? Tax info? Favorites? Actually, I don't even do that anymore since it's generally so easy to find something again -- either the site you were looking for (that you had bookmarked) or something even better. I have my Chrome synch'd for the few bookmarks and bookmarklets that I use, and that's it for those.

Anyway, I'm still trying to get the DropBox script working (the kids can simply drop their homework in a folder on their desktop and it will automatically print from the main computer), but I'm still holding out a little hope...

PMS

Just heard what this means... Pissed at Men Syndrome :-)

source: movie, Last Song

Lest there be any doubt...

I am NOT smarter than a 5th grader. Well, that might not be technically true. Maybe I should say 7th grader. No wait. She didn't get it either. I should say that I'm not smarter than some one on my wife's internet buddy list. That much would be true at least.

I called my wife on the way home from work and was confronted with a math problem that she was trying to help my daughter with. It had to do with solving the following equation for a:

a(2x+3) = 9x+12 -x. I got the right answer, but I couldn't show my work. Even the Wizard of the Internet didn't provide an exact answer. It may have provided the answer if we'd dug a little, but nothing came up in the one box :-)

I had the right idea, but couldn't complete my train of thought. I guess that's the first thing to go ... the mind? Maybe that's 'cuz once the mind goes it can't realize what else is already going as well.

Anyway, back to the ice cream story. No wait. Math! Yeah, that's it.

My wife used her own little "Wizard of the Internet" -- the collection of friends she met on-line when she was pregnant with our daughter that have stayed together on an on-line bulletin board. People from all over the world and, apparently with mad math skills. Within a few minutes she had the answer to our problem - factor out a 4 from the right side (after combining the x values). Once we did that, all became clear.

Maybe there is some value in the "social network." Speaking of which, has anyone see that movie - The Social Network? I missed the free screening that I saw on Film Metro. I'm not a Facebook user (I know... I know), but the movie has been getting pretty good reviews.

Are You Feelin' Lucky?

I feel lucky when I get a parking spot right at the entrance at work. I feel lucky when I get to be the last one through a yellow light. I feel lucky when there is still enough left in the checkbook each week. I've got NOTHING on these people. They are TRULY lucky...

You CAN take it with you...

I've been listening to NPR int the car recently. On the radio, but also on podcasts. My car allows me to listen to them via a USB stick, so a lot of the stories and programs that I miss because of my drive time are available via podcast, so I downloaded the most recent one (as an MP3 file) and took them with me.

I didn't know exactly which series would interest me so I just grabbed a bunch that seemed like they might be interesting - mostly science and technology. I heard about a couple of things that were really cool -- a vision test done with any smart phone (to go along with the really inexpensive glasses aimed at developing countries) and a digital stethoscope smart phone app that performs even better than their much pricier options.

I really like being able to listen to what I want to listen to when I want to listen. I've subscribed to the ones I like via iTunes at home, but we'll see how often I listen there. Time will tell.

FINALLY!

This is EXACTLY the what I've been looking for! Anyone looking for a Christmas present for me? :-)

I've always wanted something like this. Maybe if I'd had this on today I would've captured the JERK that cut me off on the way home.

FREE Admission on 9/25 - You are invited to Smithsonian magazine's Museum Day

Get your free ticket now while you can! Locations available all over the US (and Even Puerto Rico if you're planning to travel!) Have Fun! Learn something! Experience it!

Now THAT's some MAD driving skills!

There's an app for that too?

Hiroshima anniversary

I meant to publish this last month on the August 6th anniversary of the bombing of Hiroshima, but for some reason I got distracted and it never got out. It's an important post so I decided to publish it anyway. Better late than never.

I pray that neither we, nor our kids, nor their descendants beyond them ever see any more pictures of mushroom clouds or the devastation caused by atomic (or nuclear) explosions except in archives like those published by Tampa Bay.com to remind us of that sad day.

Speaking of School... Know anyone with a Doctorate?

OK, so you know someone with a doctorate, but do you know what that means? If they haven't' told you already, check out this site that explains exactly what a Doctorate is... You might consider yourself even more lucky.

Back to school humor for/from moms

For those of you sending your rugrats off to school today...

Misconception Number 1: Moms miss their kids when they go back to school.

Seriously. I’ve had enough of you by now. Every morning with the “what are we going to do today, Mom?” is finally over. I’ve had looked at your face twenty-four seven for the last 77 days. It’s time to go learn something.

No more asking me about the pool, when is the next snack or if you can stay up late and watch a movie. It’s over….You’re going back to Hogwarts and I get to have a life again.

There is a Christmas morning for parents and it’s called “back to school”.

Misconception Number 2: Moms like to go school shopping.

Are you freaking kidding me? Why do I pay taxes?…so I can rack up a 200 dollar bill

at Staples for crap that we have laying around my house in junk drawers. Why does it have to be new pencils? What’s wrong with the chewed up, broken strawberry shortcake pencils sitting in the bottom

of the toy box for the last 6 months? And how many subject books can you possibly need?

What happened to reading, writing and arithmetic. If they added a couple of things for parents to that list I wouldn’t mind so much….why not pencils, erasers and vodka…..or some Nyquil.

Misconception Number 3: Moms like back to school night.

Why must we do this every year? I got it already. You’re the teacher…I’m the parent. My kid is either going to be smart or dumb. If he gets a certain number or colored dot on his discipline chart, he can’t get a prize from the prize box.

Pretty simple stuff. Listen, I’m pretty old school. If he doesn’t listen to you…you can throw something at him. I don’t care.

But I got a lot of work to do at home and I’m paying a babysitter right now. Plus, I’m pretty sure you are going to assign some project on wigwams made by some Indian tribe I’ve never heard of, so I need to get home and start my research. So, I got it. We're all here for the betterment of our kids.

Blah blah blah.

Misconception Number 4: Moms like school paperwork.

How many trees are you planning on killing to tell me the same stuff I had to

pay a babysitter to listen to the other night? You know our name, where we live and our emergency phone numbers. He doesn’t have a nickname….call him “stinkbutt” for all I care.

We don’t have any “special circumstances” that you need to know about.

He lives in a home with two parents who may or may not like each other at any given time and they will fight.

If that qualifies as a reason he can’t get his homework done on time then he won’t be able to function as an adult and have a real job so you may want to “educate” him on that life lesson.

Misconception Number 5: Moms like covering books in that annoying sticky paper.

What exactly will you be doing with these books that I have to cover them in a plastic laminate? Do you often teach in the rain? Or while the children are drinking soda and eating soup?

Do you know how long that takes? Has any parent in the history of education been able to do it without any air bubbles in it?

From now on I’m covering it the old way…brown paper bags. That way I can cover the books and pack their lunches at that same time. Who says moms can’t multitask?

PS. Please tell my son if he can’t find his lunch to look in his science book.

Misconception Number 6: Moms like helping you with your homework.

What? I am scared out of my mind. I’m pretty sure that I forgot everything I learned in fifth grade by the time I was in sixth grade. I have no idea what you are talking about most days. I don’t really know my 12 times tables,

I read the cliff notes to all your summer reading and I don’t know how to conjugate anything.

But I do know that song “conjuction junction what’s your function” if that helps at all.

And please don’t even say the words “new math” to me. What the heck was wrong the old one?

Misconception Number 7: Moms can’t wait to pack your lunch every day until we die.

I hate doing laundry. Making dinner every night is the bane of my existence, so making your lunch every day for an entire year, in terms of “mom fun”, lies somewhere between brushing plaque off the dogs teeth

and scheduling my annual pap smear. Listen, as a child I hated what my mom packed me for lunch. But, like every kid before me, and every generation to come you will find a kid to trade with…I’m sure someone likes sardines.

Misconception Number 8: Moms love after school activities.

I don’t know who made up this idea of organized clubs and sports but they should be the ones in charge of carting your ass around. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against all after school programs. I just wish they would offer it

during hours that would work best for me so that dinner wasn’t at 8:30 at night followed by 4 hours of homework.

Why not do it on the weekends and call it “after-hours activities” so mommy and daddy could actually go out one night and pretend that we have a life of our own. Don’t worry about us though I’m sure that me and “what’s his name” will be married a very long time.

Misconception Number 9: Moms don’t mind taking you to school if you miss the bus.

Your bus comes at 7:10 am….which means that you should be standing by the door at 7:05 am. Not eating breakfast,chasing the dog around the house or in the bathroom, asking me to check your homework while I’m taking a shower.

Get it together! I don’t like running down the street in my jammies at 7:12 screaming “Please wait” or “If you stop I’ll show you my boobies.”

Misconception Number 10: Moms cry on your first day of school

We do cry but they are tears of joy. I have done my job. I have successfully kept a human child alive for at least 5 years without doing any major damage. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world!! Sure, doctors save lives and CEO’s run million dollar-businesses but…you teach a kid not to poop their pants and then you can say you’ve made the world a better place.”

Wedding Invitations

My brother got married last weekend (congrats guys!). The family and I went to Chicago to witness the nuptials and had a great time with the happy couple and other family. The invitation and details about the wedding were delivered (and updated) via a blog site that they set up. It was very unique and creative -- fitting for two that met at a science camp.

I came across another site recently that has some other examples of creative wedding invitations. My own wedding invitations were much more along the traditional lines, but each of them, traditional or creative contemporary, offer the couple a way to share their special day with those that they love. We're glad we were included in the Chicago festivities! :-)

Looking for something?

When I look for something on the Internet, I usually start with Google. Within a few seconds I can usually find anything I'm looking for. Sometimes that's not fast enough though. Now Google offers Real Time Search. You type in a search term, and it updates automatically for you as it finds new matches. They've had this feature on the main search page as a section of the results when they felt appropriate, but now you can make it the whole results page. No need to refresh the page. The new results just appear out of thin air!

This is not something to use for finding out the name of the bands that played at the original Woodstock, but is better suited for keeping an eye on public opinion about your company, a competitor, breaking news, etc.

Lots more useful features on the site too! Kinda cool.

Beloit College Mindset List for the Class of 2014

The wise people at Beloit College have once again released their Mindset list as students return to college this year. Designed to remind professors how old and out of touch they really are...no wait, Designed to help understand the "cultural touchstones that shape the lives of students entering college this fall," the list has been published since 1998.

A sample...

14. Doctor Kevorkian has never been licensed to practice medicine.

18. Fergie is a pop singer, not a princess.

36. Adhesive strips have always been available in varying skin tones.

51. Food has always been irradiated.

Take 5

This is perhaps the scariest video I've ever seen. It's not one of those trick videos where you're watching a peaceful scene and out of nowhere a mummy pops up full screen. This one is real. Not the mummy, but the fright, the emotion, the realism. Produced in Canada, it's a video about distracted driving, specifically driving under the influence of something. Please, please, please... If you have ANY doubt whatsoever that you are completely capable of driving a multi-ton bullet, whether you are under the influence of anything, or too tired, or too stressed, or for any other reason, don't get in the car! If you witness someone that you are not completely confident that they are competent to drive - take their keys! Don't let you or your loved ones, or even a complete stranger, be the subject of the next video.

Take five minutes and watch this video. I know it'll be hard, but so will losing someone if you can prevent it. Use this as a wakeup call and reminder.

So sad...

I've been working on my Family tree recently (duh!) and one thing kinda hit he the other day. I was typing in new relatives and came across a woman whose last three children were stillborn, or only lived a day or so. Granted, if I recall correctly, these were her 15th, 16th, and 17th children or something like that, but still...

As I was looking for grave sites on Find A Grave today, I came across many more that had lives that were very short. It's sad even just typing in the same date for birth and death (or even dates close together). You don't really think of that until it happens to you or someone you know (or know of), but I can't imagine losing one of my kids at a really young age. I just don't want to have to deal with the grief of that kind of loss.

Finally!

How will we keep in touch?!

Today's kids...

A picture is worth a thousand, well...

Your corporate identity, as expressed by your logo, can say a lot about you. Are you high-tech, or low-tech? What services do you offer? What are your strengths? What should someone remember about your organization? Are you a multinational conglomerate, or a small, home-town mom and pop shop? Do you sell books, or smoothies? That's an awful lot to accomplish with just a few pixels.

Graphic Design Blog has found several companies that have managed to create something that speaks volumes about their companies. There are creative logos that you'll recognize, but see in a new way from now on, and a few much less popular ones that that will make you think.

Fiddle dee dee

Just got back from seeing nearly 40 high schoolers rock the fiddles last night (well actually, violins, violas, cellos, drums, guitars and mandolins - and a few tap shoes as well!). It is not music that I choose to listen to often, but they were full of energy and, especially as younger performers, very entertaining. They've played at the White House and with several famous artists so other people think that they've got a wee bti of talent too. :-)

We had the older two kids with us last night as well and they both commented on how good the concert was. It's encouraging, but sometimes embarrassing, that these performers are so talented at such a young age. It takes a lot of dedication, practice, and probably some ribbing, to keep at it long enough to be at the top of their game.

We try to expose our kids to a lot of different things and then let them decide "what sticks," so to speak. My eldest son has tried the violin in the school band already and really liked it. He has an eclectic mix of music likes. I think that's really cool.

The Saline Fiddlers have more shows coming up in the area. If you get a chance to see them, I doubt you'll be disappointed.

A world without borders

Our world is defined by borders. Country borders. City boundaries. Job parameters. It's all about keeping us from one another. But what it those boundaries didn't exist? Could you still function?

Fat Morgana is a term specifically applied to mirages, but is used more generally by Damon Zucconi on this map page in which he has removed all of the normal boundaries, and lines, etc from a Google Map of the world. He's left the city labels, and even the road names, but everything else you expect from a map is gone. You interact with the map just like any other Google Map -- zoom controls, dbl-click to zoom, drag to pan, etc, -- he's just removed the borders.

I'm not sure of his philosophical intent when he created this site, if he had any at all, but it's an interesting exercize in what happens when the borders don't exist. It's a lot harder to navigate like this than you might think.

Though we should live our lives as though there were no boundaries in some situations (ignore the socio-economic, racial, class divides), perhaps some borders are a good thing.

Where are you Lee?

There's no great mystery to satisfying your customers. Build them a quality product and treat them with respect. It's that simple. -- Lee Iacocca

I am not satisfied.

The fat lady has not sung yet...

A crafty friend... Free. A little time... Free. A little water... (mostly) Free. Several evenings of explosive fun with the kids... PRICELESS!

Last year a friend of mine saw some plans online for a project that he thought his nieces and nephews would enjoy. He gave it a shot and built it. His nieces and nephews had a blast. He refined the project in a few stages and the thing just took off. In the end, he made one for my kids as well.

It was a water rocket! With a few pieces of PVC, a few miscellaneous parts, and a 2 liter soda bottle, he built a contraption that will send a rocket over 100 feet in the air – a FUN, SAFE, REALLY COOL contraption that will SEND A ROCKET INTO THE AIR OVER ONE HUNDRED FEET! FAST!

The kids and I have spent several hours launching the bottle, trying to get it higher, trying to catch it when it falls, showing off to neighbors, talking (if only for a few minutes) about the science behind the project, and generally just having fun – and getting wet!

Thought I haven't built it myself (yet), the plans look pretty straight forward and easy to follow. The parts are inexpensive and easy to find at any Home Depot, Lowes, etc. I think that the kids and I will try to make another rocket (maybe incorporating some of the suggestions listed on the sites) soon. I think that the building process will be almost as much fun, and give them a greater appreciation of how it all works.

Thanks again Jeff -- from all of us!

The original(?) plans can be found here on the This Old House site.

Recession Wallpaper?

My kids are always asking to pick up the paint chips at Home Depot or Meijer or Walmart or wherever we happen to be. Every once in a while I cave, but I generally turn them down because we only end up recycling them as soon as we get home. Every once in a while they use them for some craft (blanket for a creature, etc). I saw this one online the other day and I immediately thought, "Hmmm... Maybe..." :-)

Kinda cool I think.

I'm back...

Sorry for the long intermission. It's been almost three weeks since I posted last and even I have missed it. I've been slightly pre-occupied with a few other major things going on around here. We just got back from a great, week-long trip to the Mountains. Immediately prior to that was about two months of horrendous auto issues that I'm still trying to completely resolve. I'll spare you the gory details, but GEEZ! Add to that the prep work I was trying to get done on the Family Tree before our trip so that I could take advantage of some assistance available down in the Mountains. It just got too crazy.

I'll try to play catch up soon. Thanks for coming back.

New addictive game

Entanglement is a deceptively simple game of placing and rotating tiles. Starting from a central source, you must place and rotate tiles in such a way that the path from the source continues as long as possible while staying within the bounds of the game board.

Real 3-D

There's a lot of buzz about 3-D nowadays. Seems like every movie coming to theaters is in 3-D. 3-D TVs are getting a lot of press. To really see 3-D with that technology you've gotta wear special glasses, or buy more advanced TVs, etc though. Not so with this collection of 3-D. This is pure creative expression at it's best.

Google Doodlers

See more Google Logos

Happy Birthday America!

Read a plain text version here

Darn punctuation!

Makes you think...

Sir Cumference and other puns from Apropos of Nothing

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated in an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on a head.”

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, “Keep off the Grass.”

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21 A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don’t join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!

Other humorous observations from Apropos of Nothing

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.

A cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A day without sunshine is like night.

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

Beauty is only skin deep…but ugly goes all the way to the bone!

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

Do you realize that in about 20 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. – ……It could be a right number.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.

Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Married men live longer than single men, but they’re a lot more willing to die.

Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

My reality cheque bounced.

Good news is just life’s way of keeping you off balance.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

Accept it. Your parents HAVE had sex before.

Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

After 50, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!!

Always be yourself because the people that matter, don’t mind. And the ones that do mind don’t matter.

I bet you I could stop gambling.

I considered atheism but there weren’t enough holidays.

I don’t get even, I get odder.

I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

If it ain’t broke, fix it till it is.

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering ‘What the heck happened?’

It’s bad luck to be superstitious.

It’s not the bullet that kills you, it’s the hole.

I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing him again.

Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor’s office is full of portraits by Picasso.

No one ever says “It’s only a game.” when their team is winning.

No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

Practice safe eating-always use condiments.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

Someday we’ll look back on all this and plough into a parked car.

Squirrels – nature’s speed bumps.

Stupidity got us into this mess – why can’t it get us out?

Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

We are all time travellers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.

What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!

Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

With a calendar, your days are numbered.

You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.

For Sale?

Selected from Huffington Post

If only...

Woo Hoo!

Seriously overpriced yesterday!

What if I only need 2?

Well, actually it's ABOVE the other price...

Honesty is the best policy. PS. They forgot an apostrophe :-)

Little Larry

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Larry ... 'Giving up?'

The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "

What's your perspective?

If you're not looking at things in the right perspective, things just don't make sense…

Lawyers never cease to amaze me....

With apologies to any legitimate lawyers out there... Both of you! :-)

Seems like someone doesn't have a very big sense of humor. Specifically the law firm of Faegre & Benson. Either that, or they get paid by the letter...

See the full scoop at the ThinkGeek page.

Happy Father's Day

Airspace rebooted

It always amazes me to see how much air traffic there really is at any one point in time. The Icelandic volcano eruption a while ago caused all air traffic to be grounded for a while for safety reasons. The video below shows what the skies looked like as things went back to normal over the course of many days.

Airspace Rebooted from ItoWorld on Vimeo.

A visualisation of the northern European airspace returning to use after being closed due to volcanic ash. Due to varying ash density across Europe, the first flights can be seen in some areas on the 18th and by the 20th everywhere is open.



The flight data is courtesy of http://www.flightradar24.com and covers a large fraction of Europe. There are a few gaps (most noticeably France) and no coverage over the Atlantic, but the picture is still clear.



The map data is CC-by-SA http://www.openstreetmap.org and contributors.



This CC-by-SA visualisation was produced by http://www.itoworld.com with support from http://ideasintransit.org



UPDATE: New 1080p version with different view, more data, and CO2 burn rates: http://vimeo.com/11739091

Rewarding honesty

My daughter recently celebrated her birthday, and, as is tradition, she got to decide where to go for dinner. She chose Rainforest Café in Auburn Hills this year. There were five adults and the three kids that night so we were a party of eight. When we were done with our tasty dinner, the waiter (is that still the correct term?) brought the check and I inserted my payment into the sleeve. He came back a little while later, collected the payment folder and said "I'll be right back with your change."

I don't remember where, but I'd just read something about how to "correctly" collect that folder. It was an article complaining about how some waiters asked if you wanted any change back, or other such comments that assumed you were leaving a tip in the first place. I don't remember the details, but in the end, the article proclaimed that the "polite" way to address that was to, as our waiter did, say "I'll be right back with your change." So when he said it, it kinda caught my attention.

Anyway... I stated that we were all set (essentially, "Keep the change"), and after a polite "thank you" he was off. I was a little surprised when several moments later he came back to the table with the check folder and knelt down beside me. I was sure that I had counted the bills correctly... He went on to say something to the effect of "I'm either here to remind you, or to say thank you..." He stated that because we were a party of 8, the gratuity had already been added in (he showed me on the bill), but it looked like I hadn't noticed that and had left an additional tip. WHAT?! Someone was offering to give back money instead of just pocketing it?!

I had indeed neglected to see that the tip was already included, and had, in fact, added "the tip" in addition to the already calculated tip. He graciously offered to let me recalculate how much money to include in the folder (to take back the "extra tip") and I admit that I thought about it for a second (who can afford to be giving away money unnecessarily these days? Not ME!), but thought better of it and said that he could keep it. I was shocked that he was so upstanding about it. But, because he was, I don't feel bad giving him a reward for that honesty. He was as great waiter, kept my water glasses filled, interacted with the kids, etc. I hope he sees it as a reward for a job, and a person, well done and not as someone trying to throw money around. Based on precedence, I'll believe that he did.

SECRET BP EXECUTIVE MEETING CAUGHT ON CAMERA!

(Warning: curse word at 2:31)

BP Shares the wealth in this other video.